Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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