I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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