By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
