I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize