We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I did not marry a roomba.
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