Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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