do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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