Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize