At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
