Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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