u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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