My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My breasts were aching with rage.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
