I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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