The best revenge is premature balding
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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