shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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