Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
