I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
