Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
