My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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