everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
