Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
