Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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