Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
