Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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