The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
