kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
