My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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