pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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