There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
