i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
