She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
