Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
