Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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