Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
