this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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