just tell him i said nine months
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
