I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Randomize
