i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She's the barista slut.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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