it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
