It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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