Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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