took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
