? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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