Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
