I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
