Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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