i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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