How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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