fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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