it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
