Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Your cock deserves a montage
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
