Don't make out with my wife yet
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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