the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
