Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
