you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
