As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
